Hayyan Salim Haidar

The Trial of Puppets

    Yes, puppets can be put on trial for War crimes.

    In fact, yes, puppets should be put on trial for all sorts of crimes,for “Puppet” atrocities such as war puppetry, puppetry against humanity, and the like.

    Latest actuality–case study, Mr. Zelensky, the PTG award winner,nominated Best Puppet of the Year:                                   

    Mr. Ze Comediente transforming into Mr. Ze Tragediente, as perconvenience.

    And behind him, or in actual fact, in the foreground, all the “GoodFellas” should be tried too.  The Bush-Blair-Condi, the Albright-Pompeo-Blinken to name the “Crime de la Crime”(formerly known as “Crème de la Crème”).  The Reagan–Thatcher and many others should not be forgotten. The Rest of the World has tried them, on the ground, to manage our only world.           It is high time they try them, in court, for mismanaging this very world.

    Of course, armchair political analysts-cum–critics, strategists and reporters will point out that I forgot to account for the West’s favourite tandem Hitler-Stalin, which should invariably be mentionedalong with Churchill-Roosevelt-(atomic) Truman.  You might even want to introduce Hiro Hito onto the international scene, all the whileforgetting about those “thriving” in the microscopic still insignificant third world.

    To remind you, at the start of this century’s muppet show, there was an “atomic moment” in the sixties when world and humanity were under the spell of K-K: Kennedy in the USA, Kruschev in the USSR.  But then, Fear defused the Atom.

    Most of the world leaders now suffer from what has normally been named the Puppet Syndrome.

    So the list will linger on forever, in a memory that is both mentored and monitored right there, where it is, within the gap “existing” between your ears.

    Yes, we have the moral right to accuse.

    Yes, puppets should be put on trial.

STOP THE MUPPET SHOW NOW… is our new slogan.

    My sincerest apologies are due though to the world’s mini-puppets.  Negligence of micro-puppets was, however, intentional as usually isin History and Geography of Mankind.

    This, remember, is not the time of Genghis Khan or Holaco when wars had to be fought individually and physically.  This is the era of the single Red Button, and Red Buttons (not related to the comic actor of the fifties), puppets, there now are… all over the “Responsible” world.  A single push on the button could annihilate, as in Hiroshima, repeat annihilate, as in Nagasaki, a world population that would make the FEAR movies of Hollywood look like Tom and Jerry watching Sylvester and Tweety.

    In fact Hollywood is a major game-player in this “cleansing” gameof death.  Those still available to think outside the box of “Big Brother” wonder: wars are a want, wars are a need, for specific reasons, all kinds, HoloWars, Armageddon, Star Wars, Pandemics, the War Industry… and industrious warmongers !  

    And… right in the middle, should be mentioned Balfour-Sykes-Picot, but then that would require a special play to cover up for the non-stop, bloody muppet-show ongoing for over a century in Palestine.

    Definitely… this would have been a much better world to live in, with healthier prospects, had it been left, totally “unattended”, to the Rule of the Jungle. 

    Thence, leader puppets have convened at Puppetswood wherebasic institutions were established namely: United Puppet Nations (UNP) and its various unnecessary agencies and acolytes, the Puppet Bank, the International Puppetry Fund (IPF), with the Pupperasse for currency.   Also were launched World Courts-of-All-Sorts-and-Functions, Conventions, Treaties, Alliances, Leagues, Organisations (GOs, NGOs, BONGOs) and… SANCTIONSsss, and the interminable etceteras related to Puppet Rule of Law, all certified by a Geneva convention calling for Universal Puppet Rights.

    Then come the self-appointed Puppet Rights O’s and the like, withtheir job description restricted to: plant an antenna there, fake facts, deep–fake Gifs and animated scenes, consign speech-writers, with high spin-doctor qualifications, to write speeches to be teleported viaauto-cued leader puppets, speeches that: count and give statistics (mostly prefabricated), “report”, alarm, spread the fear.  This, in short, is the overall policy now: “Rule through Fear”.  Function:transform News media into Drama agencies.  But then this needs stacks of paper and bunches of pens for our next encounter.

    In the West there would gather in rival parties: Puppocrats and Repupplicans.  In the East it will strictly be Bolshepupps againstMenshepupps.

    There now is a worldwide call for, a plea, petition to exchange the word Public with the word Puppet… for better representation of concerned persons and facts.  So, very naturally we should soon read, understand and comply with: public interest becomes puppet interest.  P2P, PPP is private-puppet-partnership, PP is puppet-power, public opinion is now puppet opinion, and so on.

    Democracy becomes Pupptocracy, GPG is short for Good Puppet Governance, gini-ratio(index) is upgraded to puppy-ratio(index), GPP is gross puppet product.

    PotUS becomes Puppet of the United States, definitely covered by the Puppet Act.  PM, formerly known as prime minister will is now read as Puppet Mode.  States, countries and nations void of puppets shall be marginalised… perhaps taken to court.

    Common influencers shall be: Puppet uprising, Planet of the Pupps, Lady Puppa, One Day in the Life of Kermit the Frog, Pupptemkin village, Pupptrioshka, Pupplala, Puppestroika and its inseparable Puppssnost. Followers shall include the famous organisations to be called: Save the Puppet Fund, TransPuppetryInternational and PuppetsRightsWatch specialised in investigating puppets with vicious minds, all the while granting Puppet awards,best Puppet of the Year and the most influencial PGT, i.e. Puppets Got Talent.

    Economy shall be conceived in the World Puppets Forum and the O.P.C.D..  Technology shall progress through AP=Artificial Puppetry for creativity, Puppchain and Digipupp, all Puppfunded through Crowdpupping.

    Communication will be eased through: Puppbook, Whatspupp,Puppstagram and, for ease of carrying, pdf (portable puppy document).  

    And in theatre: A Tale of two Puppets, Puppet and the Beast,Puppoon…The Taming of the Puppet, Puppet of the Opera…

    And Hollywood, the always present well-intentioned Hollywood, titles fly: The Puppfather, Puppfellas, Puppface, The Puppet Connection, City of Pupp, Lord of the pupps, pupp Fiction… with, of course, the mandatory puppcorn.

    World celebrities, meandering on Puppet Walks, shall be chased around by Pupperazzis.

    And finally?…bye bye Silly Gone Valley of the Pupps !..

    With on the ground demonstrations: PLM=Puppet Lives Matter, #Puppet Too...  With the famous song (a)musing: This is a Puppet World… What a Puppetful World !!.. and finally:

    “ Hit the Road Pupp… and don’t you come back No More..No More..No More..No More.. “

    This way, the world will be more able to deceive, inculcate and manufacture consent.

    Yes, puppets can be put on trial for War Crimes and, in fact, they should be.                     Special hint to group activists: you can evade prosecution by getting clearance through being granted the status of NPO, or non-puppet-organisation.

    With all due apologies to the much-appreciated Kermit…

Our next episode: The International Court for Cartoon Justice…

Hayyan Salim Haidar                                                     Puppetland,October 6th 2022.